tf2maelgwyn: asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck I dont think thats how it works
aoisasahina: WHA TS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEER NUTS AND DEER NUTS BEER N UTS COST $1.99 AND DEER NUTS ARE UND ER A BUCK
doglets: sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?
i was reading about cultural assimilation/appropriation and i read this thing about cosplaying, if you’re a white person cosplaying a black person is it okay to do blackface
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
how to fall in love
cheshiresparadox: Find a complete stranger. Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour. Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes. New York psychologist, Professor Arthur Aron, has been studying why people fall in love. He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply...
hungarian: nowhere in the bible does it say god is not a burrito
pickup line: I told my therapist about you.
simplydalektable: niqqaniall: i’m 16 and i still walk up the stairs with my hands how do they expect me to learn algebra I thought you meant only on your hands and I was like, hell that’s way harder than algebra
Blueberries piss me the fuck off
all1sees: They’re BLUE. but mashed, they’re PURPLE?? AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN????? WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!
MRS CARTER SHOW WORLD TOUR
IT WAS BETTER THAN I EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED IT TO BE, THERE WAS ONLY 9 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME IN THE QUEUE I WAS AT THE BARRIER AND SHE LOOKED AT ME
His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he...– 50 Shades of Grey (via kaley)
ulyssee: cigs4kids: what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it i would do a split
my mums a slut shamer